why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
