is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
