Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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