I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
