How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
