Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
