Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
