Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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