Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Quick, to the slutcave!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
