Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
