this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
