You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
