Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
