is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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