bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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