it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
