I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
