I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
