captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
