I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
