they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
