Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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