I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
