well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
