dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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