at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Found the puke drawer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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