is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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