TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
