there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
