apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
