Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
