Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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