i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
