Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
