I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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