I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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