how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
