I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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