Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
love makes seman taste better
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
