So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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