someone threw a dead crab at me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
