therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
