Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
