i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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