i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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