problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
where are my eyebrows?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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