There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
