my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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