Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i came on her dog
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
