and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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