The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
