i just wanna soil my oats bro
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
