I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
